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In this class, we got feedback about an essay by Mr.Paterson. First, he called our group number and started to give feedback to us. At first, he pointed out that the introduction section by  giving a concrete example. The next section's part is Toko, so she got feedback from him. I wrote second section, so I waited to very nervous. After the got feedback, I learn about three things through that. 

Firstly, he pointed out that unclear sentence. I often use "almost" and " most of..." when I want to explain the result of the research. I said that "This explains is not unclear, you should write a more effective sentence with use some source" many times. I don't care about these things, so I could realize about it. I thought I research information which can more good explain on the internet. In addition, I could not be able to write some sources which explain my main opinion. Some words were my opinion like "Most of the students", "Almost all elementary school students" and so on. I knew that I must write reliable information in the essay. And, I have used the contracted form, like "don't" and "It's". In class, Mr.Paterson said that things, but I have used that. The contracted form is not formal, so we don't have to use that in the essay.

I thought that my English level is too low than other group members, so I could not communicate with team members. And, have troubled them. I decided to study English more and want to be going to write and speak more like a native speaker. I realized the lack of my skills in English through this feedback, so I want to fill the difference between another advance class students.

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